To All the Non Preggers

So is it a Boy or Girl? What are you hoping for? Do you have weird cravings? So you really haven't gained much weight except for your belly or you're just hiding it really well? Are you planning on breast feeding? isn't it too soon to have your 2nd child?

The list goes on and on. One of these days, I'll make a t-shirt that I'll wear everyday that reads - "I don't know what I'm having yet. I'm hoping for a boy, but a girl will be nice as well, and my first born will be 2 and a half when her sister/brother is born, but mostly this is none of your business". Or I'll just keep it simple and have it read "I'm pregnant, but I'm very capable of carrying another conversation other then what's going on inside my uterus".

I can't tell you how many times I answer these questions. It's well-meaning, I know. Strangers who also have children looking for common ground or a way to connect. Friends and family looking for a way to catch up. The lady at the register trying to chit-chat while my payment goes through.

Most of the time, I smile, nod, answer their questions and then proceed to listen to their horror stories. Everyone seems to have a horror story they need to share with a pregnant woman on the pregnancy, the birth or the child afterward. If not, they have some form of advice or words of wisdom that they feel the need to pass along.

I've heard it all before. Friends and family who has no children and doesn't have plans in the distant future to ever have kids talk about how "smug" mommies to be are when they're talking about their pregnancy. Hey, Garfunkel and Oats even wrote a song titled "Pregnant Women are Smug" that has more then half a million views on YouTube. Aside from the fact that these two ladies probably never had morning sickness, muscle spasms, and ongoing pains throughout their body for 9 months, I can't help but think most of these conversations that we have that talk about our pregnant belly isn't started by us.

I've longed understood that common sense isn't really common practice in people's world, so a few pet peeves us pregos do have.

1. You don't go up to a random stranger, acquaintance, coworker or even friend and start touching their stomach. Whatever made you think it's ok to do that to a pregnant women? if you really must cop a feel, ask for permission before touching.
   
2. You definitely don't tell a stranger, acquaintance or even friend how fat they're looking lately. It's one of those unwritten rules, you don't comment on other people's weight unless you're complimenting them. Whatever made you think it's ok to comment on how FAT your pregnant friend is looking these days? FYI - we have mirrors and we get weighed each doctor appointment we go to. We KNOW how much weight we're gaining, and you don't have to be a constant reminder on how that lunch is going straight to our thighs. (Even if you're joking - it's not funny)

Lastly, despite the basketball, watermelon or whatever you want to call it that's growing daily in my stomach, I'm still ME. I still have a passion for the arts, hidden secret talented cooking abilities, a sometimes bratty 2 year old, and an amazing husband who's smart and rocks my world. I'm still making dinner most nights for my family, still have a love for shopping and girly spa treatments, still love to browse bookstores and watch chic flicks and drama. So next time you want to have a conversation, really - asking only the question - "How are you feeling today?" would suffice for me. I know you're really not that interested in learning the pains and woes of my pregnancy and I seriously don't want to hear the horror stories you've collected throughout the years.