Thanksgiving Turkey Craft Pattern

Head over and download this fun Thanksgiving Turkey Craft Pattern!

The space in the center is perfect for your child to write what they are thankful for while practicing their penmanship!

Ode to Parenting

I was that mom who always thought I’ll do the “right” things once I have kids. You know the mom you see in Home Improvement and Full House. The “stay at home” mom who took care of the house, the kids, the husband. Homemade breakfasts, lunches and dinners, baked cookies in between all that, and of course the variety of different classes the child will attend, and since they’re already having so much fun hanging out with mom – have no need to watch any form of television. And of course the house would always be spotless, the laundry always done, and there’ll always be fresh flowers as centerpieces on the table from my immaculate garden.

Then….. I got pregnant. And being pregnant is nothing like ANYTHING you see in the movies, so why should being a mom be any different. If I thought being pregnant was hard, I wasn’t prepared for what parenting had to bring. It was like being slapped in the face with a slimy fish. WHOA! I was so not prepared for that.

The debates are endless, cry or cuddle? Cuddling them “spoils” them, but letting them cry it out is too “cruel” and makes them feel “alone”. Soother or Thumb? Soother makes them “dependent on you”, and a thumb teaches them to be more “independent”. Breast or Bottle? Spanking or Timeout? Stay at Home or Work from Home? Vaccinate or not Vaccinate? Fruits or Vegetables first, and then the list goes on and on.

I tried to be one of those “prepared moms”. I subscribed to Parents magazine, read the books “What to Expect when you’re Expecting”, AND “Your Baby’s First Year’s Guide”. I referenced back to those books when my daughter’s poop was a different color then it was the previous day. I read about breastfeeding, when to start solids, what kind of solids, and her week by week development. I believed in all that and more – after all, as my pediatrician once said to me – “you at least read a manual or have a teacher before you operate a vehicle – so why don’t parents read and prepare a little more about parenting”.

As new parents, most of us research, read countless books and talk to everybody and their cow who have children. I was always an eternal student. I hated school, but I believed that knowledge always meant less room for error. But by the time, I was 32 weeks with my first child – I thought I had it all “figured out”. I was also extremely freaked out. I was completely scared out of my wits about drowning my baby girl because you know they say in the books – 2 inches of water for less than 5 seconds is enough to cause irreparable damages. I was also scared that she’ll stop breathing in the middle of the night. So for the first month of my child’s life, I made my husband give her a bath and I stood by and watched just to stand guard in case anything goes wrong. I also probably didn’t sleep the first month, because while my baby slept, I would somehow make it over every hour or so to make sure she was still “okay”.

It’s just not until your baby is truly born are you hit with “reality”. You’ll find that as you carry on through your parenting journeys that sometimes the roads are paved with good intentions. You’ll find that you’ll re-research, you’ll call your Mom friends a few hundred times a day, and then when you’ve exhausted all your resources or you’re just plainly exhausted, you’ll just make choices and wing it.

You will always do what you believe is best and be prepared to face the consequences. Good or Bad – you’ll make your choices and well – try to stick with them. Or will you? We’ve all have moments where the choices we make cause those around us to cringe. And for some reason, when you’re a mom with a child – strangers would have no problem telling you what you’re really doing wrong. “You’re doing/feeding/saying THAT to your child”? , and then you’ll have that weak moment when you think she’s a better mom then I am, and you end up doing what that stranger says because she is that “Uber Mom”.

You know Uber Mom. There’s always one in the playground who looks as though she and her offspring have been pulled from a Ralph Lauren catalogue. She only carries organic snacks in an organic sack she made herself from the cotton she spun last night on her spinning wheel. She drives a brand new minivan that’s never seen dirt, she cooks 3 meals a day, does laundry and then irons everything that comes out of the dryer. She’s always smiling and of course never misses the weekly yoga class. I’d say she’s all “sugar and spice”, but that wouldn’t work since she’s soooooo anti-sugar as well, and all the goodie two shoe’d sweetness that she is – well makes me want to just barf. Now I’m not saying any of those things are wrong or bad, and if you strive to be or are one of those moms, right on. What I’m saying is that, it’s moms who fit the “perfect” persona who inevitably make the rest of us feel like we’re on sinking ships.

So what do we do? How do we face this battlefield called parenthood and come out on the other side – (when our kids are all 18 and off to college) – unscathed? How do we listen when the voices inside our head (and yes – there are voices inside my head) tell us that our guts are making the right decision. I’ve decided to just go with my guts, I’ve done my research, talked it over with not only just my friends, my pediatrician and my spouse but at the end of the day, it’s me who has to account for my choices. I learned that I didn’t have to be “uber mom”. My house would never be spotlessly cleaned, there won’t be any fresh cut flowers daily, the laundry might not get done, and we’ll have to order take out once in awhile. But, I would be happy. I would enjoy life as a working mom, spending time with my spouse in front of the TV or in bed, or just making a mess in the living room with my 2 year old daughter. I’ll also remember that in times when the whole room seems to shudder, the whispers seem louder than a punk concert and the disapproving looks make you want to shrink into your diaper bag, that being a mom isn’t easy. Being a good mom is even harder; in fact it’s kind of like when we tell our kids to stand up to peer pressure, ignore the taunts and insults, trade in the easy road for the right choice and be prepared, because sometimes you might just be standing alone.

To All the Non Preggers

So is it a Boy or Girl? What are you hoping for? Do you have weird cravings? So you really haven't gained much weight except for your belly or you're just hiding it really well? Are you planning on breast feeding? isn't it too soon to have your 2nd child?

The list goes on and on. One of these days, I'll make a t-shirt that I'll wear everyday that reads - "I don't know what I'm having yet. I'm hoping for a boy, but a girl will be nice as well, and my first born will be 2 and a half when her sister/brother is born, but mostly this is none of your business". Or I'll just keep it simple and have it read "I'm pregnant, but I'm very capable of carrying another conversation other then what's going on inside my uterus".

I can't tell you how many times I answer these questions. It's well-meaning, I know. Strangers who also have children looking for common ground or a way to connect. Friends and family looking for a way to catch up. The lady at the register trying to chit-chat while my payment goes through.

Most of the time, I smile, nod, answer their questions and then proceed to listen to their horror stories. Everyone seems to have a horror story they need to share with a pregnant woman on the pregnancy, the birth or the child afterward. If not, they have some form of advice or words of wisdom that they feel the need to pass along.

I've heard it all before. Friends and family who has no children and doesn't have plans in the distant future to ever have kids talk about how "smug" mommies to be are when they're talking about their pregnancy. Hey, Garfunkel and Oats even wrote a song titled "Pregnant Women are Smug" that has more then half a million views on YouTube. Aside from the fact that these two ladies probably never had morning sickness, muscle spasms, and ongoing pains throughout their body for 9 months, I can't help but think most of these conversations that we have that talk about our pregnant belly isn't started by us.

I've longed understood that common sense isn't really common practice in people's world, so a few pet peeves us pregos do have.

1. You don't go up to a random stranger, acquaintance, coworker or even friend and start touching their stomach. Whatever made you think it's ok to do that to a pregnant women? if you really must cop a feel, ask for permission before touching.
   
2. You definitely don't tell a stranger, acquaintance or even friend how fat they're looking lately. It's one of those unwritten rules, you don't comment on other people's weight unless you're complimenting them. Whatever made you think it's ok to comment on how FAT your pregnant friend is looking these days? FYI - we have mirrors and we get weighed each doctor appointment we go to. We KNOW how much weight we're gaining, and you don't have to be a constant reminder on how that lunch is going straight to our thighs. (Even if you're joking - it's not funny)

Lastly, despite the basketball, watermelon or whatever you want to call it that's growing daily in my stomach, I'm still ME. I still have a passion for the arts, hidden secret talented cooking abilities, a sometimes bratty 2 year old, and an amazing husband who's smart and rocks my world. I'm still making dinner most nights for my family, still have a love for shopping and girly spa treatments, still love to browse bookstores and watch chic flicks and drama. So next time you want to have a conversation, really - asking only the question - "How are you feeling today?" would suffice for me. I know you're really not that interested in learning the pains and woes of my pregnancy and I seriously don't want to hear the horror stories you've collected throughout the years.

All Secrets Revealed

So a friend said to me the other day, "I can't wait to get pregnant. It seems just so nice to have that pregnancy glow, and have that little bundle of joy growing inside of you. I'm really looking forward to when I get pregnant. The delivery, I'm really scared and afraid of, but the pregnancy is just going to be GREAT".

I couldn't help but laugh, and then wished her Good Luck. Told her delivery was probably the easiest part of the whole ordeal. I wasn't/am not one of those lucky biatches who had amazing pregnancies. But then again, I guess I understand where she's coming from. When I was still single and watching my sister pregnant with her first-born, I also only noticed the glow, the slight pampering my brother in law gave her, and the extra naps she took during the day. All did look pretty cheerful and rosy on the other side, till of course; I got pregnant.

There has to be a copy of some book somewhere that tell all moms to not let any secrets out. Well, mine seem to have gotten lost in the mail, so here are all the secrets revealed. At the end of it, you may want to think reallly hard before getting knocked up.

• Morning Sickness - it must've been a man who labeled this horrible, horrendous symptom morning sickness. It should just be labeled "full day, full night sickness". Most argues the reason why it's called "morning sickness" is because that's when you feel the worse - when you first wake up in the morning. In reality, you just feel sick like this day and night. To put in perspective for some of you who still has no idea what I'm talking about? Imagine the time when you got really drunk and woke up the next morning feeling like ass + you're plagued with food poisoning. You feel nauseous the whole day and then puke whenever you eat anything. Now times that by a minimum of 3 and a half months EVERY SINGLE day. That's "morning sickness". Now I also have to mention, I LOVE to eat. I connected with my husband and a lot of friends over food and our mutual love for food, so imagine how I feel when I just can't eat for 3+ months. I've read that there are some people who this last throughout their 40 weeks of pregnancy. I truly deeply feel sorry and send my condolences to those poor souls.

• Migraines -My friend Janet gets migraines. My friend Jessica gets migraines. My husband gets migraines at times. I DON'T get migraines. That is, till I got pregnant. These are the devil of headaches, and on one can fully explain why these things happen when you get knocked up. The only thing they explain like they explain everything else is "those pregnancy hormones".

• Constipation - truly, this may seem like nothing - that is until you've been backed up for several days and you've started cramping. Before I was pregnant, my digestive system was like a baby. I went as many times as I ate. Exactly the way it's supposed to be. NOW...I go about once every 2 days or so. And that one time usually requires me sitting there for approximately 15-20 minutes alternating between pushing, screaming and sweating before anything happens. By the end of it, there are beads of sweat running down my forehead, and it feels like I literally just gave birth.

• Overactive Bladder - Before my firstborn arrived, I got all types of unsolicited advice from strangers that told me that told me to get all the sleep I can now before the baby is born, because I won't be able to after she's here. I wanted to smack them, because seriously, who asked them? But other than that simple fact, have they been around me and my bladder? It's a double edge sword, you need to drink more water to stay hydrated, but the more water you drink, the more you end up peeing. I already used the bathroom enough before I was pregnant, but I seriously didn't resort to waking up 2-3 times a night to pee at that time. Except when you're pregnant, you'll never sleep through the night again, because I'm usually up at 2:30, and then again at 5:30 just to pe. So much for getting my sleep in before the baby's here. I'm already NOT sleeping.
  

• Backaches, pelvic pains, and stomach cramps - Ahh. You think I'm pregnant now, I don't have to deal with menstrual cramps. Oh boy are you wrong. At least when you get your monthly friend prior to pregnancy, you're also allowed to pop Advils every few hours to keep the pain at bay. These days, you just deal with these pains as they come. Early on, i can just be the implantation pain, then there's the round ligaments type pain, and then much later on, you'll start dealing with the baby kicking you kind of pain, and of course later on there's the contraction type pain. All of these usually accompanied with back pain.
  

• Hemorrhoids - No one ever talks about these because it's seriously embarrassing. I didn't even want to tell my husband the first time around. We were on vacation in Vegas with another couple, and I was walking and sitting funny and looking like I was in constant pain. A few days later, I finally gave in and told him. He laughed his ass off, and proceeded to tell all his friends. I was still in pain and can barely sit, stand or walk. I'm praying and begging it just doesn't happen this time.
  

• Heartburn - Again, something I never ever experienced before I got pregnant, but something I very quickly learned I HATED. I stocked up on Tums in my cabinets, my purse, and in my office and was popping those suckers like candy. Needless to say of course - the relief from eating the Tums are short and you'll very quickly find yourself in lots of pain again.
  

• Kicking - Yes, your child kicks you. Yes, it's very sweet and awwww moment initially when it first happens, but when you're in the last 2 months and you literally see the feet moving from the left side of your stomach to the right side - it's really NOT that cute anymore. Not to mention I started to get bruises where she kicked me so hard.
  

I'm of course deliberately leaving stuff out, but seriously, I don't want to scare away too many potential moms if I haven't already. On the plus side, most people do get bigger boobs, shinier hair, nicer skin - thus the glow, and each time you hear the heartbeat during your ultrasound, or see the little baby swimming around in your sonogram, you then realize why you put up with all the pain. So if you're really truly feeling ready for motherhood and giving up alcohol for a full year, grab your partner tonight and hit the sack. Not everyone gets the same crappy experience as me, yours might just be wonderful.

Though seriously - I still think some mad scientist need to figure out how to shorten a women's pregnancy from 40 weeks down to only 12 weeks. Till that day comes, 27 weeks and counting till the 2nd little bean is born.

A Stressed Out Mom's Guide to relax

My friend Janet is a stay at home working mom. In other words, she works from home while also taking care of her daughter. Our daughters are exactly the same age, born exactly on the same day only about an hour and a half apart. To be exact, they're 1 year and 11 months old right now. The first 15 or so months of our daughter's life, I was insanely jealous of Janet. I would love to be able to stay at home with my daughter, but still keep my job. I always imagined myself raising my own children when I had them. Instead, I woke up every single morning, and left my baby girl for 10 hours while a nanny and eventually a daycare watched my child grow up, develop, and do all those cute baby things.

That is....till my daughter started her terrible two's tantrum early. These days, sadly to say, I'm eager to send my child off to daycare (where she behaves like an angel - says her teacher), help her take a nap, or go to bed a little earlier. Before kids; we've all heard about it, but nothing short of experiencing it first hand can really make you understand.

My 22 and a half month child is officially in the midst of her terrible two's tantrum phase. A "no", "stop", or even "later" to her can explicitly cause 15 minutes of screaming that eventually leads to straight out crying. Nothing stops her. And believe me when I say nothing. (Feel free to send those tips away).

I was slowly losing my insanity, till I just realized - I need to "relax" or my child never will. So next time you're in my shoes, try some of these tips. Might not help calm your child down, but at least it'll calm you down enough to have more patience to deal with your little one.

- Breath. You're not a bad mom. Now, hand that little brat over to your partner, and then walk away. Your little brat will continue crying, but nothing you're doing is going to help anyways, so let your partner deal with it for once.

- Change your surroundings immediately. Put on some shoes and a jacket and take your child OUT of wherever you are. He/She will probably forget almost immediately why they started crying to begin with, and find something else that's equally as fascinating.

- Indulge. Keep a handful of "snacks" handy, and just indulge. You just need a little peace and quiet. It's ok to occasionally indulge.

And lastly, just enjoy it. How many of us truly enjoyed the first 6 months of our child's life? Let's be honest, we all rushed it by. Wishing he/she will smile, crawl, walk, and talk already. And now that the terrible two's phase is here, we just wish they'll grow up already huh? Sit back, relax and just enjoy. True, it's not fun - but we'll get through it. Our moms and grandmas did....

...now - let me go ahead and follow my own advice....

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a mom
I never tripped over toys.
Or Google words to lullabies and nursery rhymes.

Before I was a mom,
I’ve never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Or Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
And if I chose to, I slept all day and night and then ate ramen noodles for dinner.

Before I was a mom
I never held down a screaming child
So doctors can run a few more tests
And then have hot tears run down my eyes while watching my child writhing

Before I was a mom
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartaches, the wonderment
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much!

I won't lie - It's hard work

I’ll be the first to admit it, being a mom is HARD HARD work. There are days when I’m just physically so tired I don’t want to get up and do anything. And forget those days when you’re feeling emotionally pooped. It’s exhausting with one thing after another. How can that kid that’s less then 2 feet tall have so much energy. It’s about sacrificing and giving up. And then you just have those days - where you wonder, Why? Why did I get myself into this and who in the right mind told me I wanted to be a mom.

Sleeping in on the weekend? What’s that? Yea – that one I really miss the most. Deciding that this is one of those ramen noodle day & night where the full purpose of the day was to curl up in bed in front of the TV and do absolutely nothing. Uh huh. Those days are long forgotten. And please don’t get me started on going out to the movies, a night out or just deciding this would be a great weekend for a weekend getaway. Long gone are those days when a big purse would be suffice for a weekend.

Anyone read the book “I love being a mom, but I just hate doing it”. Yep, I was one of those moms who bought that book when my daughter was a little over a month old, and nothing I did except hold her day in, day out would stop her from crying crying and crying some more.

The expectation was there long before I was a mom. I’m not that kind of wife or mom I thought I would be. I pictured myself cooking, baking , my house being super clean all the time, and my husband running home to kiss me. WOW! Boy am I laughing at myself right now. I pictured spending countless hours with my child in her room playing with toys and reading her books after books. Of course in this absurd fantasy of mine, my child would also never watch TV either and she’ll always be somehow emotionally and psychologically stimulated in some way. I tell you, Motherhood is just one of those things that’s totally impossible to picture until it happens to you. You think you’ll be a certain way – you won’t yell at your kid, you’ll have patience and your child is quiet and cooperative during all public outings. Then boom, your little one is here, and your whole world turns upside down. I have always pictured myself with kids, but I didn’t expect to be barely keeping it together 95 percent of the time! I most certainty didn’t picture the never-ending amount of fatigue I face day in and day out.

And then your little munchkin turns to you and put her arms around you, gives you a big hug and say “I luvvv you” that you realize ahhh yes, this is exactly why you do it; and at the end of the day; this is all worth it.